Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
