well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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