Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
