I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
