Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I look better un-naked...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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