Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
