he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
