U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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