:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
