I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
