i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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