I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize