Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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