I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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