Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
