hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
