I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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