I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
