Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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