what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
