i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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