I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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