Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
