Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize