I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
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He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
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You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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