just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
