I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
These tits shall not be calmed
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
