Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
