im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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