Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
