i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
