aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
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My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
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CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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