College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Semen is not good for contacts.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
