sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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