Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize