Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
