Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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