So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
