I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
