There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize