Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
