Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
only you would photoshop your dick
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
