The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
