Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I could have mohawked her pubes.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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