i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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