haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
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I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
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I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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