Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize