Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
