we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
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Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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