he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
