He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
