I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
