i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
