Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
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Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
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My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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