I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
