Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
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Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
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I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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