gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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