He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
