trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
