I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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