it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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