so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
