a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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