butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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