now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i drank out of a bidet.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
