so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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