I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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